Photos are great but not when it makes you sad because of all the great memories that you know will just remain memories.  I know nobody knows the future but if one has little faith that things will work out, it makes the other feel as hopeless.

So for now, I removed these photos from my desk, wall and computer. Maybe one day I will be able to look at them without feeling this incredible sadness and I will be alright. 



So how do you piece back together parts of your broken spirit?  It seems like there is no way.

I have never experienced this kind of pain before where it feels like it isn’t just your heart that’s broken but also your whole being and even your soul.  And to some point, I know that is also how he feels, like a broken toy.

Every inch of me wants to give up yet I don’t know if I can live with myself knowing I just walked away without a fight.  πŸ˜¦

I Capture The Castle

We read I Capture The Castle for Book Club this month and I completely fell in love with it.  It was a coming-of-age story written in the eyes and voice of the main heroine, Cassandra. This book was published in the late 1940s and set between the wars.  It had a Pride & Prejudice feel at the beginning yet would steer its own path as the story unfolded.

What I love about this book was the consistency of the tone and progression of the characters. Cassandra and her family developed and matured right before my eyes.  Their eccentricities and unique traits were also in line with their reactions and decisions towards the middle and end of the story.  There was also no shortage of interesting characters in this book – from the witty yet consciously naive, Cassandra, her very strange father, her stepmother with an intermittent sense of humor, her secretive and almost vile sister, her smart and funny younger brother down to the handsome and loyal servant, etc. 

The author’s writing was also very fascinating.  It was not just seeing but also feeling Cassandra’s life – the castle, her struggles, her poverty, her dreams. In the three days I spent reading it, I felt like I walked her life and also had some nostalgic feeling about my own life when I was seventeen. Though it was of a totally different culture, the emotional struggles (relationship-wise) of a teenager was universal. 

The ending was how I thought it should be.  Each conclusion was a product of each person’s growth – again very consistent. I’d prolly re-read this in the future and see if like any great books, I’d discover new things. 


I can’t wait for the next book club meeting. πŸ™‚