Quote on the Wall

Today is one of those days when in the middle of finalizing my notes for one of the subjects, I suddenly feel anxious and panicky.  Reading essays and being able to spot the issues is good but sometimes I still cannot for the life of me, structure what I want to say.  The feeling on unpreparedness creeps up and before I know it, I will be questioning my choices in life and career. 

So I decide to pause and take a break from it all. That’s when I see the big poster on the wall that says POUR YOUR HEART INTO IT – a simple message that seems to be speaking right at me. I know that whatever happens, at least I know, that I poured, I am pouring all of my heart into it…

  

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Sketches

As I have been doing the past weeks, I go to Starbucks to study. The people around keep me from falling asleep especially when the video lectures are long, tedious and boring. 

I usually sit on the shared desk so I would have more space. Today was no different – I got my drink, turned on my Macbook, placed my materials, chargers and earphones on the desk… I checked my emails first before I would start watching the lecture. 

As I was doing this, I could just feel a pair of eyes on me and just like the other week (the weeping guy), there was a guy sitting about 2 feet away from me who was glancing at me every 5 secs. He would glance at me then look down on his notepad, write something then back to glancing me. I was feeling self-conscious when this went on for 10 minutes because I could see him from my peripheral vision. Finally, I turned sideways and looked quickly and realized that he was sketching my face and the notepad was actually a sketch pad and he had drawing pencils on the desk. I saw that he already drew my face, my hair (my bangs!)… It was weird in a way. 

My friend said that I should look back at this guy and sketch his face too just to throw him off. LOL. Yeah, I’d do that and he’d see my stick figures of a drawing.  Anyway, after about another 10 minutes, I saw him sign his sketch.  He then stood up, looked at me and gave me a huge, friendly smile.  I gave him what prolly was an awkward style then he tucked his sketch book with my face under his arm and left. 

The Guy Who Weeps

I am at a coffee shop thinking how it sucks that my life is at a pause because of the bar exam.  After 4 years in college, 4 years in law school and another year for my master’s degree, I really am done with studying.  I just want to live my life.

Then this guy sat across me talking to himself in a foreign language and his voice was full of despair.  He was literally weeping and though it was rude to stare, I couldn’t keep my eyes off him because he looked so sad.  I wanted to cry too.

He left before I could decide whether it was okay to talk to him.  I looked back on my laptop screen – the Civil Procedure video staring back at me and I suddenly felt so thankful that instead of the kind of struggles that other people are suffering from, I am here studying for the bar exam…