Happy, Scary Place

I am in a happy and scary place right now. Happy because I am in love and scared for the exact same reason. As the old cliché says, loving someone means you are giving that person the power to hurt you. They say it takes courage to love because it means having to put yourself out there and believe me, I’ve fought so hard with myself before deciding to finally jump into the cold waters of ‘relationship.’ After all, I’ve been in a safe, comfortable, quiet place for quite some time then. Being inside my comfort zone hasn’t made me completely happy but it has always been safe. Now, that I am wet in this pool of passion, it makes me quite scared that the wind will blow and I will just shiver in coldness without his arms to make me warm. It scares me that I might go to the deep end only to realize that I cannot swim at all. The thought that I might drown and nobody will or can save me makes me more afraid than I already am. Is it worth all this happiness? Maybe. Yes, who am I kidding, anyway? Right now, I can only pray that I will be okay, that he will always be there, swimming beside me.

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