Of Memories And Illusion

Of Memories and Illusions – An Excerpt   Today, Mika had an awakening of some sort.  It was triggered by a conversation she had this morning with her mother and then further stirred by an unexpected drive down Fairfax Avenue.


She walked a block of this street a long time ago and remembered how bad that night turned out to be.  She was not expecting her boyfriend to dump her.  He held her cold hand as he walked her to her car.  It was like a walk of shame or like a prisoner walking towards the lethal injection room.  Well, maybe that was an exaggeration but something like that.  Fortunately, now that she reminisced about it, she could no longer feel the misery that used to always accompany the images.  It was just like that old Filipino song, “I remember the boy, but I don’t remember the feeling anymore.”     As she drove the seemingly unending street, she passed by this big Walgreens store in the corner and it dawned to her that she had an interview at this area almost 3 months ago.  That interview was terrible.  The place was horrible and the employer was an egoistic, 1st class a-hole.  To top it all, she didn’t have a car that day and the guy she was dating who was supposed to pick her up totally forgot about his promise so she sat on the bench next to that Walgreens for more than 30 minutes trying to figure out what to do.  Though that day turned better that expected, it reminded her that life was like one big suspense movie and just when you thought you knew everyone and everything in the story, in one random moment, you’d discover another character or situation you never thought existed.  Story of her life.


Mika’s heart had been broken too many times before to know that love was never easy, that there was no secret formula to guarantee happiness.  However, she’d still be secretly praying to find the exception to the general rule.  Despite the fact that her heart was only functioning because the pieces had been glued, taped and bound together, she’d still wait for that one person who could heal her of her doubts and distrust.

Unfortunately, she recognized this morning that the last statement was all an illusion – that finding the one who could make her trust with her whole heart would be next to impossible.  He would have to be super human to be able to patiently love her so that one day, her heart would completely heal.  What her mother said this morning disheartened her to her very core.  Her father had been keeping a mistress.  Her mother knew.  She knew but all this time, she thought, her father changed.  Truth of the matter was, he never did.


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